Categotry Archives: Fandom & Gaming


Luck Deficit Disorder

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Categories: Fandom & Gaming, Goofing Off, Memoirs, Tags: , , ,

Once upon a long time ago we were in the midst of a D&D campaign, one of the players was famous for losing characters. To be fair to him, they were all his fault. In this campaign he was going through characters pretty quickly, he’d rolled up six or so and the last one we pillaged a crypt and he’d pulled a necklace off of a remarkably well-preserved corpse. We were a ways down the hall when he said he wanted to go put it back because he felt like taking it would jinx him. We allowed as how we weren’t going to go back with him, but we’d wait a couple of minutes. We hear the crypt stone slid aside, then screams and the sounds of something being devoured. So, being good companions, we shrugged and moved on. Now he was without a character left to play. So, we let him play the pet pig from one of his characters. That pig was amazing, racking up the battle glories as we fought our way out. We were a week out of the closes town, too busted up to hunt, when we ran out of rations…and then he really was out of characters.

© 2017, Tim Boothby. All rights reserved.



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Categories: Fandom & Gaming, Goofing Off, Memoirs, Tags: , ,

Once upon a very long time ago my best friend and I made a road trip to what was either a small convention or a large RPG/Gamer meet. Take your pick. We were pretty early so we watched the Axis & Allies games for a bit. We saw a new game coming out called Star Frontiers. Checked out some Tunnels and Trolls, Boot Hill, Star Trek, Chainmail and who know what else. We also heard some rumors about something called ElfQuest. Around noon, the DM we were waiting for showed up.

This was comfortably into the 1ed edition AD&D days, but by now everyone had their own homebrew tweaks to the game. So, we say at the table with the DM and she started in on a bag of Whataburger, she’d had a long and hungry ride to get there. So Buck and I got out books and dice and snacks together and the mandatory 2-liters of Mountain Dew and the backups ready and sat back to relax while she scarfed.

About this time, two guys wandered up. We’ll call them Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass. Dee was a pretty quiet sort, Dumbass wasn’t. He looked over the table, dropped his bag next to Buck’s spot with a loud crash and looked down at the feasting lady at the head of the table. “That’s a player’s chair, sweetheart,” he said, “You’ll have to stand behind your boyfriend and watch when we start.”

She rolled her eyes and replied that she was the DM.

He called bullshit and I replied with my best sunday-go-to-meetin’ manners. “Dickhead, she’s here to run the game at this table, so yeah, she’s the DM.”

He looked over at me, at this time I was around 17 and skinny as hell. I mean, tease your hair to keep your pants up skinny I’ve gotten better since, obviously.


He proceeded to make a bunch of noise about wasting a table on a chick game, so I got up, grabbed his bag and carried it to another table and dropped it off. My buddy Buck stood up when he started to say something to me and since Buck was 6’4” and of the muscular persuasion he decided to keep it quiet, since he was a weedy-looking sort with muscle tone like a canned ham and a quarter of his body weight was zits. So, Dee and Dumbass wandered off and the gaming commenced, and it was EPIC! Fights so hard we were rolling dice with sweaty palms and dripping brows But, we kept hearing him making crappy little comments all through the game. Finally, they made a break for the bathrooms and Buck and I called for a break.

Sadly, Dee wound up stuffed in a tall metal trashcan headfirst and somebody beat on the sides of the can for a while. Dumbass went headfirst into the toilet. We never did find out who would do such a thing, and I’m still not sure to this day why my shoes were soaked so bad I had to run out and change into cowboy boots before we could finish the session, I must have really been sweating those dice rolls.

© 2017, Tim Boothby. All rights reserved.


Pro Tour Austin Report: Stan Bessey Makes Day 2 in 1st Pro Tournament

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Categories: Family, Fandom & Gaming, Tags: , ,

At 5-3 Stan is ranked 85th in the tournament with 15 points and an OMW of 59.02%

Stan made a “Boise State” start jumping out to a 4-0 lead, then fought it out to finish 5-3 on the day, qualifying for day 2 in his first Pro Tour tournament. The day ended with a little drama when at the end of the second game in round 8 Kasandra tweeted this: “Stan’s asking a judge question about Rite of Replication, and his opponent disappeared… can it be?” and then two minutes later: “STAN’S IN DAY 2! RITE OF REPLICATION KICKED ON ORAN RIEF SURVIVALIST! His opponent is PISSED. He stormed off!” Stan was slightly more subdued when he sent his update: GOT THERE!!! Kicked rite of [card]replication[/card] targeting [card]oran rief survivalist[/card] FTW

Round Player Country Player Country Winner Score_ Ranking_ W/L
1 Bessey, Stan USA Wright, Stuart ENG Bessey, Stan 2-1 112 1-0
2 Bessey, Stan USA Black, Samuel USA Bessey, Stan 2-1 88 2-0
3 Bessey, Stan USA Seaver, Ryan USA Bessey, Stan 2-1 47 3-0
4 Bessey, Stan USA Bursavich, Austin USA Bessey, Stan 2-0 16 4-0
5 Bessey, Stan USA Cortez, Paulo BRA Cortez, Paulo 0-2 23 4-1
6 Bessey, Stan USA Levy, Raphael FRA Levy, Raphael 1-2 61 4-2
7 Bessey, Stan USA Nakamura, Shuuhei JPN Nakamura, Shuuhei 1-2 110 4-3
8 Bessey, Stan USA Lebedowicz, Osyp USA Bessey, Stan 2-0 85 5-3
Day 2
9 Bessey, Stan USA Pend Pend Pend Pend Pend Pend


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© 2009, Tim Boothby. All rights reserved.


Memorial Day

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Categories: Extended Family, Fandom & Gaming, Tags: ,

I wrote a brief recap on the Guild about the weekend, but I think it calls for a more in-depth recap.  Memorial Day was the great gaming weekend that we’d planned for a while now, or at least threatened to have.  I’d thrown the offer out for them all to come play for a few months for any 3-day weekend and Memorial Day 2009 won the lotto.

The beginning boded ill, as traffic was backed up in the SeaTac area through the passes and it turned a two hour stretch of the drive to about 4 1/2 hours.  That alone would have scared off the timid, but not Key, Kit and Shae, they braved through and after about 12 hours they reached our little hamlet in the desert.  They came in early in the morning after driving all night and after a nap we ran out to the base and looked at the aircraft in heritage park, they are aircraft mounted on concrete columns so they look like they are flying… sort of…

parkWe also took a look around the base and tried to get Key a peek at the firemen, and saw what was left of the Thunderbird F-16 that crashed here a few years back, you can see the before below, the after is pieces.

tbirdAfter a hydration stop at the shopette, where I noticed they’ve REALLY improved the quality of the craft beers they carry there.  I’ll be back when the fridge is more empty, we went to Bruneau Dunes…

dunesThis is where cats dream of when they look completely content in their slumber, bad sandbox joke, but that’s the penalty of reading my stuff now isn’t it?  Anyway, the largest of the dunes is about 450′ tall, Kit and Shae climbed the smallest of them, but that was at least 150′ high, and sand isn’t easy to climb,  Try it, I dare you!

dune2This is them about halfway up, rumor has it that it worked them out, even our blackbelt Shae.

Meanwhile Kim & I, who’ve climbed them a hundred times (before I got my cane) decided to stay down at the bottom with Key, who found a friend, she named him Steven.  Hopefully Steven is a girl, or issues will result.

stevenThen we went to the interpretive center,next time we need to go at night, if the observatory is open.

cometThis picture was evidently taken near the observatory with a camera and no telescope, apparently the stargazing down there is amazing. We finished the driving loop by finding Oregon trail markers and then headed hom to feat, smoked brisket kicks much ass!

Then came gaming, and some REALLY good fun! Alea iacta est (Let the dice fly high!) And a few events, in no particular order…

  • “You have a chart for that?”  shocked
  • Critical Fumble – “I stabbed myself through the back of my ear?”
  • Butt-hickey from venom being sucked from a wound.
  • “I’m changing to my emergency pants.”
  • Stealthily falling down the rock pile in field plate.
  • Book trap needle to the forehead.
  • Dragged off in a cat house.
  • “I check for traps!”
  • Critical Fumble – Head down butt up.
  • Kick to nuts = puked on.
  • Finding a Prince Albert in the bag o’ swag… still… eww.
  • Surfing a lava tube.
  • Down the outhouse and the nasty bug in the corpses’ mouth.
  • “I have a towel!”
  • “You need a permit to fight a dragon?”
  • 1,000 feet of stinky wet hemp rope.
  • Mass dragon flatulation.  And Puke.
  • Let sleeping dragon’s lie!
  • Falling straight up!
  • “I check for traps!”
  • “I teleport the crystal spiders to the hall with the giant snake.”
  • “Can I have my manacles blessed to +1?”
  • Dragon makes critical fumble on saving throw.
  • “All of this for… books?”
  • “You get how much for books?
  • “I want to Identify the Darkness!!”
  • archery fumble, hold the string, release the bow
  • “I have another towel!”
  • “Wanna dance?” from drunken half ogre =  “Call shot to the nuts!”
  • “You said catch her, not stop her!”
  • “Yay!  We survived!  By the way, what’s your name?”
  • Cerdic Ofheed? (Sir Dick of Heed)

The food was mostly a triumph, the brisket was great as always, my nachos were sort of questionable but I made up for it with my Almost Famous Unpatented Mead Chicken (recipe is here, click the cooking tag), and Ebelskiver is a great way to start the day. I don’t claim any credit for the Ramen at 1am, they ate it as soup.  Which is suspect.

I think we’ve reinforced some gaming tendencies, we have two confirmed players and a new Dungeon Master from the weekend and took time out on Sunday to run by our tiny gaming shop for dice.

kodt_pete_support_flgsHow far into gaming nerdery have they gone?  I got a text from their drive home asking if they could all three combine teleport rings to take the car home and skip the drive.  It was a great time, and… you know… Labor Day is a 3-day weekend. 😉

© 2009, Tim Boothby. All rights reserved.


My Lifelong Battle Against the Chain-Mail Bikini

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Categories: Fandom & Gaming, Tags:

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Back in about 1979 or so, in my teenage years, I found myself in the oddest of arguments with someone who’s name I can’t recall, but I do remember that he smoked mind-boggling amounts of marijuana. I can’t say he was a pothead or stoner, because quite frankly that just doesn’t capture the scope of the amounts he consumed. Cheech & Chong amounts.

Damn, I went and got distracted again, you’d think by now you leaned to rein in my digressions, but no, there you go being an enabler. Wink

Anyway, so I was discussing the seeds of a concept I had for not only stories, but this way-too-cool game I found out about called Dungeons & Dragons. First of all the Sinsemilla Kid wasn’t at all approving of D&D, he said it would do weird things to my mind.

Oh sweet irony.

But, his main objection, as he thumbed through the latest issue of Heavy Metal was with a notion I had that the bad-ass sword-swinging knights in vast amounts of steel and leather would be men and women that had proven themselves in huge nasty battles with each mile of entrails and barrel of blood lovingly documented.

I said I was a teenager, you expected anything else?

So, the aforementioned weed-chimney looked at me like I was insane. “Chicks can’t be knights.”

Wait-a-friggin-minute… did he just look up from Heavy Metal, a magazine depicting women that made Barbie look properly-proportioned, and telling me that my notions of fantasy reality are skewed? Ok, this is a debate I’ve had many times, but I once again raise my standard and say “DOWN WITH THE CHAIN-MAIL BIKINI!”

One of the more interesting parts of writing fiction, especially fantasy is that you get to build an entire world, you draw the maps, place the oceans and mountains and forests, and then you tweak and tinker and consider things like would jungle and desert be found in close proximity? What creatures will there be, and why? Its not enough for me to know there is a dragon, but how they came to be, and what can they do, and how hard would one be to kill?

But how does one justify women in something that could only be referred to as a chain-mail bikini? I mean is it that hot there? Why doesn’t it cover the more likely targets for an attacker, like the gut and lower back? Padding. No I don’t mean a female warrior should stuff her bra, I mean that chain resting on skin is nearly no protection at all. And with the little bit of her covered she’s going to chafe, sunburn, windburn, roast, freeze and attract the attention of everything that could be considered the wrong sort for miles around.

Fantasy has to have fantastical elements, but a woman dressed like that is only handy for attracting the interests of teenagers and teen-agers that grew up and now have really bad comb-overs and only emerge from their mom’s basement to go see who’s wearing the hottest Xena costume at the upcoming Con.

Well, that may be harsh, but c’mon!

The formula that makes fantasy work is having a proper mix of the real and the fantastic. Build a world that has understandable structure and laws so that when the really weird starts to happen the reader doesn’t roll their eyes.

It’s a little something I like to call blue-collar fantasy.

By the way, women can be knights and kick some serious ass.

© 2009, Tim Boothby. All rights reserved.